Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
