hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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