I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
