Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
