the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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