you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
