I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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