Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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