Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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