I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
