I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Can I color on your dick again?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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