he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
