you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
