maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
