D3 body, D1 cock
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
