i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
