I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
