Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
