Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
