I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
