Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
