I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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