singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
