Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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