Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
