doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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