dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
