"it" just moved
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
