My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
