whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
