I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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