Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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