he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We need to get me chipped asap
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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