her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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