This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
barbara walters just said penis...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
