First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
