We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
