Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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