I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
there is glitter all over my balls
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