Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
