Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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