Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
