It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
