Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
