Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
