i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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