I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What drink are we having for lunch?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Life without a bra equals bliss.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
