sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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