He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
