Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
