More tranny stories later!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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