the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize