i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
