No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize