Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My dick has a subreddit
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize