my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
