somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
