You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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