Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
