yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize