He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
